Ultra Ki Master: The foulest evil hast layeth his hand upon me
Classic Captain: union brand noodles!
Ultra Ki Master: No...something fouler
Classic Captain: whoa!!
Ultra Ki Master: Something is wrong with our toilet...so we have to use the one in the basement!!
Classic Captain: oh lord!!!!
Ultra Ki Master: The one in the dark corner, surrounded by...foulness
Classic Captain: its like the studio set for a porno rape movie or something
Ultra Ki Master: You can find every known species of insect withing 3 feet of it
Ultra Ki Master: They funny thing is...the toilet itself is shiny and clean
Classic Captain: the insects get bored and clean
Ultra Ki Master: yes
Classic Captain: no, actually, i come over there sometimes and clean it..play some darts..ya know..
Ultra Ki Master: work out with my couch setup
Ultra Ki Master: and it kills you
Classic Captain: freddy kruger kills me while im on it
Ultra Ki Master: he comes out of those small little creepy closet things
Classic Captain: veeerrrryyyy creepy
Classic Captain: i think the latest malice mizer video is being filmed in your basement
Ultra Ki Master: with real vampires
Ultra Ki Master: I downloaded one with gackt
Ultra Ki Master: It sounds like him...but it can't be!
Ultra Ki Master: It's an imposter
Classic Captain: yes
Classic Captain: gackt still sings really well im MM
Ultra Ki Master: you mean...imposter gackt
Classic Captain: yeah, sorry
Ultra Ki Master: shadow gackt
Ultra Ki Master: tehy try to feel his hard abs, but their hand goes through
Classic Captain: gackt on the crotch splitter machine
Ultra Ki Master: I like the little picture they show when he says that
Ultra Ki Master: a guy upside down with his crotch being split with a saw
Classic Captain: thats great
Ultra Ki Master: I'm watching a clip of gackt on "domoto kyoudai" where they all try to touch their toes
Ultra Ki Master: No one can do it, but gackt just puts his whole palms on the floor
Ultra Ki Master: and everyone makes that goofy japanese amazement noise
Classic Captain: i swear, he is not human..
Ultra Ki Master: Whoaoh!
Classic Captain: i want a turn to feel gackts abs of amazment
Ultra Ki Master: they are too hard...you will break every bone in your hand if you touch them
Ultra Ki Master: every bone in your body
Ultra Ki Master: every bone in your whole family's body
Classic Captain: not every one!!!!
Ultra Ki Master: Eh...
Classic Captain: my nose
Classic Captain: the ol' nose bone
Ultra Ki Master: Scientific name: Nosious Bonious
Classic Captain: Sunnious Bonious
Ultra Ki Master: crashious intotreeious
Classic Captain: ok, it should just stop here
Ultra Ki Master: okious dokious
Ultra Ki Master: Oops...
Classic Captain: yeah..
Classic Captain: ever seen the movie joy ride?
Ultra Ki Master: no
Classic Captain: its really good, it has this awesome hick cop in it
Classic Captain: ..and you get to see the two hot guys naked!
Classic Captain: but thats just me
Ultra Ki Master: ...
Ultra Ki Master: only you see them
Classic Captain: only me
Ultra Ki Master: to everyone else, it's two hot chicks
Ultra Ki Master: even to other gay guys
Classic Captain: i dont see any women, just guys
Classic Captain: hey dad, hey...dad?
Ultra Ki Master: what about women with penises?
Ultra Ki Master: You see the lower half of their bodies
Classic Captain: trans's dont count
Ultra Ki Master: just a pair of legs with a dick walking around
Classic Captain: that would look funny
Classic Captain: and i could give head a lot more
Ultra Ki Master: it would be funnier if it was just a dick walking around
Ultra Ki Master: using it's balls as legs
Classic Captain: thats just weird..
Ultra Ki Master: yes it is...
Ultra Ki Master: It would walk into a store to buy condoms for itself
Classic Captain: i sat next to those 2 gay guys at lunch in the computer lab, it was funny listening to them talk
Ultra Ki Master: To use as a coat...in cold weather
Ultra Ki Master: 2 gay guys?
Ultra Ki Master: Since when are there 2?
Ultra Ki Master: I mean...2 that you know about
Classic Captain: he hangs out with the nerdy one
Classic Captain: he is flaming too
Ultra Ki Master: ...
Ultra Ki Master: Are you "flaming"?
Classic Captain: no, i dont talk and walk gay, and i dont like that..its annoying
Ultra Ki Master: yes it is
Classic Captain: just because i fuck guys doesnt mean i should talk differently..
Ultra Ki Master: I think the nerdy guy is like that...I just think he's the biggest dork ever
Classic Captain: yeah
Classic Captain: but the other guy is really cute, i think
Classic Captain: "..."
Ultra Ki Master: the flamer?
Classic Captain: yeah
Ultra Ki Master: If you want to see the biggest flamers on earth, watch jerry springer
Classic Captain: they talk like they have a speech impediment..
Ultra Ki Master: they talk like they fuck guys...
Classic Captain: i dont want to be fem, but i dont want to be "macho", just the middle
Ultra Ki Master: The stereotype for gay guys is changing though...
Ultra Ki Master: A lot of them are huge bodybuilder guys now
Ultra Ki Master: It's weird...
Classic Captain: yeah
Ultra Ki Master: you should do that...and then go out with nerdy kid
Ultra Ki Master: "The Gay Odd Couple"
Ultra Ki Master: "The Oddly Gay Couple"
Classic Captain: i could turn him into a normal person
Classic Captain: "you are gay, not a neard! listen to me damn you!"
Ultra Ki Master: No...I don't think it's possible
Ultra Ki Master: Dr. Bull should try to psychoanalyze him
Ultra Ki Master: "Too nerdy even for my huge brain!! "
Classic Captain: but he is sort of cute
Ultra Ki Master: Now when I look at him...I see pure ugliness
Ultra Ki Master: I can normally tell if a guy is "hot" but not if he's "cute"
Ultra Ki Master: Only gay guysand girls know if a guy is cute...
Classic Captain: yeah
Ultra Ki Master: Yeah...
Classic Captain: old experts..
Ultra Ki Master: Instinct
Ultra Ki Master: Or...something like that
Ultra Ki Master: walking penis...funny
Classic Captain: charley chaplin..not funny
Ultra Ki Master: beilas...your mom
Classic Captain: clipboard..beat with
Ultra Ki Master: Dad just came home...he's "hammered" as they say
Classic Captain: he has been hammered with a hammer
Ultra Ki Master: He tried to say "Inky" and it came out like "Innnnkkk*gurgling*kkkyyysss"
Classic Captain: thats great
Ultra Ki Master: That's...weird
Classic Captain: he is like the most irresponsibal parent ever..
Ultra Ki Master: no...you forgot about my mom
Classic Captain: ooh yeah
Classic Captain: you would die if you had my parents, if you think your dad is bad..
Ultra Ki Master: I would die just from a rive to the store
Ultra Ki Master: die of old age
Classic Captain: yes
Classic Captain: my feet are cold..maybe i should put on socks..
Ultra Ki Master: I think you should try living with my feet,,,
Ultra Ki Master: They are more purple than my hands
Ultra Ki Master: creepy...
Classic Captain: yeah,,,
Ultra Ki Master: I get in the shower in the morning, and my feet are in extreme pain because the water feels so hot compared to them
Classic Captain: i think its time to get out the scroll
Ultra Ki Master: Eh...too big
Classic Captain: i know, but keep it in your pants
Classic Captain: just a little humor for the day there
Ultra Ki Master: I can't...too big
Ultra Ki Master: that's why my pants are so baggy
Classic Captain: because you have massive amounts of excess leg skin
Ultra Ki Master: Yeah, I used to weigh 4000 pounds
Ultra Ki Master: I lost the weight...but the skin stayed
Classic Captain: thats some serious juju
Ultra Ki Master: micheal jackson rules!
Classic Captain: micheal keaton rules!
Classic Captain: ...
Ultra Ki Master: micheal fisher rules!
Ultra Ki Master: I don't know who that is...but he's cool
Classic Captain: hell yeah
Classic Captain: i got this gay dvd thing, and it feels so weird checking out..its like "hey, whats up?" "its for a friend! really..!"
Ultra Ki Master: hwat do you mean?
Ultra Ki Master: you bought it?
Classic Captain: yeah yeah
Ultra Ki Master: what is it?
Classic Captain: its just this foreign movie about two guys, blah blah blah
Ultra Ki Master: uh...
Ultra Ki Master: must be french
Classic Captain: spanish actually..
Classic Captain: the guys dont look spanish at all..
Ultra Ki Master: the look...nerdy
Classic Captain: one does, but the other one is hot, nice blonde..yeah..
Ultra Ki Master: ...
Classic Captain: dot dot dot
Ultra Ki Master: walking penis...
Classic Captain: you love that idea way too much
Ultra Ki Master: it's really funny
Classic Captain: im really hyper right now and even i dont find that funny
Ultra Ki Master: Eh...
Ultra Ki Master: drink some more pop
Ultra Ki Master: and some coffee...and some bread
Classic Captain: half a 12 pack down
Classic Captain: and im going over my bf's tomorrow..yay
Ultra Ki Master: yay...
Classic Captain: yup
Ultra Ki Master: have you played any of the tony hawk's pro skater games?
Classic Captain: oh god they are terrible
Ultra Ki Master: I bought thps3 (really cheap) and...it's not as great as everyone says
Ultra Ki Master: Every magazine and website gives them nearly perfect ratings
Ultra Ki Master: or perfect
Ultra Ki Master: I think it was worth the price though, $16
Classic Captain: his games are just so damn simple it is horrible..and the music..my god..
Ultra Ki Master: 16$
Classic Captain wants to send file C:\My Shared Folder\misc\(Aqua Teen Hunger Force) 104 - The Moonites.avi: the funniest cartoon ever!
Classic Captain: i think the characters in this cartoon should be top of the fantasy world
Ultra Ki Master: no...
Classic Captain: but you have idea how funny it is until you see it..
Ultra Ki Master: dad is starting his "shit again"
Ultra Ki Master: He twists everything that his senses pick up until it goes against all logic
Ultra Ki Master: There is a pair of scissors on the desk in front of me, so he thinks I'm planning on killing myself with them
Classic Captain: you mean you aernt?
Ultra Ki Master: ...
Ultra Ki Master: He keeps talking about how inky changed...and it's my mom's fault
Classic Captain: "they are all against me! blaahhhhgg!!"
Ultra Ki Master: The really bad thing is...I can see myself ending up just like him
Ultra Ki Master: Being paranoid about everything and forming "plots" in my head
Ultra Ki Master: I already do sometimes
Classic Captain: "FBI agents have planted tiny cameras in my contacts..eehhh"
Ultra Ki Master: some people really think that
Ultra Ki Master: people with paranoid schizophrenia
Classic Captain: yes
Classic Captain: or maybe thats what the agents want you to think
Ultra Ki Master: people with the scroll
Ultra Ki Master: the agents
Ultra Ki Master: agent smith
Ultra Ki Master: AKA: Lord Elrond
Classic Captain: AKA..your mom! oh!
Ultra Ki Master: *hits you with clipboard*
Ultra Ki Master: Hmm...no effect
Classic Captain: he just kept...laughing, ahhh...
Classic Captain: he was totally oblivious to the fact that everyone hated him..
Classic Captain: someone shoots his leg.."oh! thats what i did to your mom last night!"
Ultra Ki Master: Suddnenly the shooters mom has a wounded leg
Classic Captain: im starting to laugh at nothing..i think im hammered..on dew
Ultra Ki Master: with hammers
Classic Captain: i wanna hammer
Ultra Ki Master: i wanna ham her
Classic Captain: i wanna...albanian
Ultra Ki Master: i wanna
Classic Captain: yup
Classic Captain: im sooo tired..gah...must drink more caffeine
Ultra Ki Master: drink more sleeping pills
Ultra Ki Master: and sleeping powder, and sleeping goo
Classic Captain: goo is good
Ultra Ki Master: goodgoo
Classic Captain: i wanna glide..but ill fall asleep..head first..
Ultra Ki Master: ...
Classic Captain: that was almost a pun
Classic Captain: so what are you doing?
Ultra Ki Master: nothing
Classic Captain: you must be doing something
Ultra Ki Master: nope...I'm suspended in a state of perfect nothingness
Classic Captain: probably on some forum about how to make a bomb out off toilet paper and a paper clip..
Ultra Ki Master: the mcgiver forum
Classic Captain: macgyver
Ultra Ki Master: yeah...him too
Classic Captain: yeah
Classic Captain: how often do you talk to people on aim
Ultra Ki Master: not often...
Ultra Ki Master: I only talk to a few people ever
Classic Captain: what do you do when you fall idol for like..forever
Ultra Ki Master: when do I do that?
Classic Captain: all the time
Ultra Ki Master: I just don't use away messages during the day
Ultra Ki Master: If I play a video game or take a nap
Classic Captain: take a nap...that sounds so kiddy
Ultra Ki Master: I take a lot of naps
Ultra Ki Master: I took 2 today
Classic Captain: thats strange
Classic Captain: if i take a nap, i wake up like 7 hours later..
Ultra Ki Master: I'm always tired
Ultra Ki Master: even with my perfect sleep schedule
Classic Captain: weird..
Classic Captain: i wish i could be as tired when i get home from school as when i wake up.
Ultra Ki Master: I'm like a zombie in the morning...and when I get home...and in a lot of my classes...and at night...
Classic Captain: and every other time of the day
Ultra Ki Master: basically
Classic Captain: i am wide awake most of the day everyday..full of energy..
Ultra Ki Master: but I also get extremely energetic sometimes
Ultra Ki Master: I get "euphoric"
Ultra Ki Master: I might be manic depressive, or "bipolar"
Ultra Ki Master: I don't know
Classic Captain: bi
Ultra Ki Master: polar
Classic Captain: your not bi polar, you are the same always..
Ultra Ki Master: No I'm not...
Classic Captain: sure you are
Ultra Ki Master: Sometimes I get "manic"
Classic Captain: manic panic
Ultra Ki Master: yeah...
Classic Captain: and why is that
Ultra Ki Master: I don't know...
Ultra Ki Master: But when I'm home alone, I get extremely weird
Ultra Ki Master: I just get super "happy", and I pace through the house really fast
Ultra Ki Master: And then I get really paranoid...I always think someone is in the house
Ultra Ki Master: I keep walking around checkin every room
Ultra Ki Master: I look in strange places like in the closets
Ultra Ki Master: and then I take a nap
Ultra Ki Master: It's weird...
Classic Captain: you dont think someone is in the house, you want to be paranoid so you feed on whatever is convenient. its because you are afraid of what you would be like if you werent "weird"..its sort of confusing..
Ultra Ki Master: No...I think someone is in the house...
Ultra Ki Master: But I thought of what you said too
Ultra Ki Master: Either way...I don't know...
Classic Captain: that is just the manifestation of some deeper issue..*puts on dr. bull mask*
Classic Captain: you are afraid to take that step into true happiness because you have grown so comfortable with where you are now.
Classic Captain: its a common thing with people..
Ultra Ki Master: I agree with that
Ultra Ki Master: Like when I smile...and go right backinto my non-expression
Ultra Ki Master: I don't like being happy...it's not "natural"
Classic Captain: exactly. you know nothing else except where you are now, and it really scares you, whether you know it or not, being, well..happy
Classic Captain: its like subconsiously wanting to be depressed
Ultra Ki Master: Yeah...
Ultra Ki Master: So, Mr. Psychosis, what am I supposed to do?
Classic Captain: i know how you are. you claim you want to be better but you refuse all sorts of techniques because (once again), that subconsious want to be in depression
Classic Captain: you dont trust anyone, for one thing
Classic Captain: your so used to being on your own you cant possibly imagine anything else
Ultra Ki Master: Dad wants to take me to the airport right now, to give me a tour
Ultra Ki Master: (off topic)
Classic Captain: how..strange
Ultra Ki Master: hammered
Ultra Ki Master: So back to me...
Classic Captain: what do you think
Ultra Ki Master: I don't know
Classic Captain: you do
Ultra Ki Master: nope...
Classic Captain: ok then
Ultra Ki Master: I'm watching some dating show...and it's the most depressing thing ever
Ultra Ki Master: It's things like this that create apes
Ultra Ki Master: Everyone on the show is made fun of if they aren't perfect
Ultra Ki Master: This one guy was around 18 or 20 his date was astounded when he said he was a virgin
Ultra Ki Master: they say that anyone who doesn't do more than kiss on the first date is a "prude"
Classic Captain: i see
Ultra Ki Master: And of course everyone on the show looks like a supermodel...
Classic Captain: that must make you feel horrible
Ultra Ki Master: It just amazes me...
Ultra Ki Master: They say that everything is "real", but it's more like "real apish"
Classic Captain: heh
Ultra Ki Master: There was this one guy...
Ultra Ki Master: He had a "nice" body
Ultra Ki Master: Whatever nice is
Ultra Ki Master: He had a 6 pack, and everything was "well defined"
Ultra Ki Master: but the girl made fun of him for being scrawny
Classic Captain: by the time i saw it was a gameshow i would have changed the channel..
Ultra Ki Master: I don't know where the remote is
Classic Captain: there are buttons on the tv
Ultra Ki Master: on the remote too...
Classic Captain: my point has been lost..
Ultra Ki Master: yes
Ultra Ki Master: http://www.supercars.net/cars/2001@$Honda@$Unibox%20Conceptg.html
Ultra Ki Master: looks like a big glass box
Ultra Ki Master: you would probably buy something like that
Classic Captain: why do you say that?
Ultra Ki Master: It's weird
Classic Captain: oh so your insulting me! those r' fightin words parter!
Ultra Ki Master: No...these are fightin words
Ultra Ki Master: "Let's fight!"
Classic Captain: *boxes you out with one punch*
Ultra Ki Master: *takes your money*
Ultra Ki Master: It's only the first round
Classic Captain: actually its been 6 rounds
Ultra Ki Master: 6 straights
Classic Captain: 1 gay
Classic Captain: mwahahaha
Classic Captain: ehh..yeah...
Ultra Ki Master: 3 gays
Ultra Ki Master: one nerd, one flamer, one weirdo
Classic Captain: look whos talkin wingnut!
Classic Captain: dont worry, i still love you
Ultra Ki Master: ...
Ultra Ki Master: http://www.supercars.net/Pic?s=1&id=2096&i=0&p=2002_pagani_zonda_c12s_73-3.jpg&y=2002&m=Pagani&o=Zonda%20C12-S%207.3
Ultra Ki Master: That is the best looking back of a car ever
Classic Captain: looks cool
Ultra Ki Master: That's probably one of the few cars I would take over a skyline
Classic Captain: ok
Ultra Ki Master: I sit next to cream lord in biology...he talks to my dinosaur-headed friend all glass about motors in their little things with wheels that they ride...
Ultra Ki Master: *class
Classic Captain: idiots..
Ultra Ki Master: prudes...
Classic Captain: jabubas...
Ultra Ki Master: dirtyjacks...
Classic Captain: pervertedsteves...
Ultra Ki Master: :-)
Classic Captain: tendercare
Ultra Ki Master: old ladies...
Ultra Ki Master: Come here, granny!
Classic Captain: eehh, gross
Ultra Ki Master: that reminds me of...elliot!
Ultra Ki Master: Boys!
Classic Captain: oh god..
Classic Captain: you will burn all the desire to be gay out of me..
Ultra Ki Master: Let me give you your exam, boys!
Ultra Ki Master: *feels balls*
Ultra Ki Master: Ooh!
Classic Captain: aahh
Ultra Ki Master: Come here, stevie!
Classic Captain: hey its tom
Classic Captain: no wait..its a filthy old man!
Ultra Ki Master: I need to search you in order to find your career pathway!
Ultra Ki Master: *searches you*
Ultra Ki Master: *seaches inside ass*
Ultra Ki Master: Ooh!
Classic Captain: only my boyfriend is allowed in there!..old man!
Ultra Ki Master: Ooh! Frisky!
Ultra Ki Master: Let me just fix that problem, with my mouth!
Classic Captain: aaahhh!!!
Ultra Ki Master: Let me pull your lever!
Ultra Ki Master: *pulls lever with dirty old man mouth*
Classic Captain: oh god just stop!
Classic Captain: ill be in bed with my boyfriend, look over, and see eliots face!..all because of you!
Ultra Ki Master: Ooh!
Ultra Ki Master: *takes off elliot suit*
Ultra Ki Master: I'm gonna go now
Classic Captain: ok
Ultra Ki Master: bye
Classic Captain: bye bye
Ultra Ki Master: *puts on elliot suit*
Ultra Ki Master: *feels balls*
Ultra Ki Master: Ooh!
Classic Captain: cruel!!!
Ultra Ki Master: *defiles fation*
Ultra Ki Master: Ooh! Sexy boy!
Classic Captain: oh fuck..
Classic Captain: you just dont care about me at all!
Ultra Ki Master: *takes off elliot suit*