“Faggot!” Yeah, I think all of us at one time or another has heard it; probably in a mean spirited, derogatory way. But whether you overhear your friends say it with absolutely no offense or hard feelings intended, or are like me and occasionally hear it being screamed at you out of the window of a moving vehicle on main roads, it can feel all the same, and the pain and frustration can be all too real. For most of us, it boils our blood to hear; it takes us to a place where we just want that person to know how it feels to be in our shoes, just for a day. We begin to wish that those who slander and insult us could feel the pain that the abuse brings, and in so many different ways.It’s been a part of being gay since forever. Just like any kind of prejudice man has suffered through out history, being gay, even in today’s increasingly liberal world, is no exception. There is a vast array of names and ways of hurting or putting down people who are gay, and the huge arsenal of misconceptions and misinformation seems to be never-ending. But alas, there is a way to fight back, there is a way to make your voice count. You fight back by not resorting to name calling like those that scream out “Faggot!” at gay couples holding hands. You make your voice count by starting clubs or organizations for gays and lesbians, places where they will feel safe and organizing fundraisers to help those that struggle with AIDS and have no place safe to live.
There are so many young people in this country, in this world, that are in need of help. Whether they need someone to help them through a tough time, or just need someone to listen to them, problems can pile up faster than we can even contemplate them. Being gay does not help any. While it certainly isn’t anything to be ashamed of, or embarrassed about, it can feel that way to some people. With all the woo-ha about how being gay is evil, this and that, it’s easy for someone, especially a kid who is gay to think himself a sinful sham of a person who must immediately change, or be condemned to an afterlife of fire and brimstone. Being gay, along with a great sense of pride and uniqueness, brings pain, suffering, and many times a feeling of loneliness and despair. What do we say to those young gay people who think that because they are gay, they will forever be singled out as a bad apple, and left lonely without someone to love them and stand by their side? What do we say to those gay youths that are being bullied by others on a daily basis? And what do we say about those kids that hang themselves with rope in their room, because they just can’t take all the pain anymore?
I think that one thing that causes so much stress, guilt, anger, and confusion among the young gay people of today is the transition from “I don’t know” to “I finally do know.” Going from “Is it normal that I am attracted to people of the same sex?” to “I am an out and proud gay person.” Yes, it’s that painful coming out that haunts the hearts and minds of those kids. One of the hardest things that gay people have to do is come out to the people they know and love. They often question whether or not those people that know them as a straight person will still love them as a gay person. Who could blame them? When we ourselves question our own feelings and thoughts, how can we possibly know how the people who know and love will respond to us telling them? That is why, to ease the pain, to make your life and coming out a little easier, you must find who you are and what you want first. Take the time to get to know who you are before you introduce everyone else to who you are.
I read an article in my school newspaper about the trials and tribulations that some of the gay and lesbian people at our school suffer, and somewhere in the article, a student said “For the most part, I don’t get a lot of criticism, because I don’t flaunt it. It’s not a glamorous thing to admit.” Not a glamorous thing? It sickens me when people say things like that. Gay people become their own worst enemies. As long as people who are gay are afraid of telling others that they are gay, or refuse to “flaunt” it, because it isn’t “glamorous,” it provides another weak link in the chain of strength being created by gay people everywhere. And what exactly is “flaunting” it? Kissing the person you love in public? Holding hands, hugging, showing any affection at all? I mean, it is perfectly normal to not want to be torn down or criticized for just being who you are (gay, straight, bisexual, whatever), but as long as we suppress who we are, as long as we concede that we will forever be the tortured minority, and as long as we believe that being gay cannot be something “glamorous,” we will forever be our own worst enemies.
Whatever your problems are in life, whatever the obstacle you have to overcome is, I promise you that there is a way in and around it. Whether it is changing it, or accepting it, or both, there is a way. Being gay is something that does not need changing. Being gay is something that we should be proud of, and not a single day should pass that we doubt we are doing the right thing by waving our multi-colored flags proudly. Being gay is not an illness, a disease, or an ugly stain on the human condition. Some people might have you believe it is, and sometimes, when we are at our weakest, we want to whisper under our breath and say, “yes, they are right.” But we must not give in to those that want to see people that are proud and independent crushed and changed into something that fits into a more “suitable” version of ourselves. We must fight, and we must endure. Whatever your concern about your sexuality is, whatever problem you have with coming out, or standing up to bullying, I promise you that at very least, reading this book will make you feel a little better about yourself and your place in the world.
This book serves as a guide to those young gay people that are in need of a way to strike back against a sometimes brutally-prejudice world in a non-violent and creative way, and explore them selves in the process. Knowledge truly is power, and knowing who you are and what you want can be the best, most useful tool ever in the struggle to face down opposition from those who bully and provoke fights. Being gay can feel like a world of its own, and in some ways it is. This will ease the pain that is sometimes experienced and even needed to attain the wisdom and strength to live a life you can be happy with and proud of. Even those gay teens that are already “out” and proud, and comfortable with them selves and who they are, this can be a useful tool in maintaining that confidence through troubling times; and trust me, those appear more often than you would think, whether you’re gay or straight. The image of gay people has slowly been distorted through out the years, and isn’t getting any better as long as those who know better stay quiet, hence the reason I chose to write this book. I believe it’s an accurate depiction and description of the modern gay youth culture. I seek to reveal the truth about a culture in which the numbers are climbing every day, as is the intolerance and ignorance of it.
But despite the bad rap the word “ignorant” gets, it’s not always what it seems. It doesn’t mean stupid, or idiot, or moron. It simply suggests a lack of sources and information. It is my hope that this will be the unofficial gay youth “anti-ignorance and self discovery”
guidebook for those in need. It’s not just old, white, straight male conservative types that are ignorant either; it can be anyone! Ignorance branches out to people of all genders, faiths, ethnicities, and even yes, sexual orientation. Even gay, bi, transgender, and curious people can be ignorant of gays and gay youth, but not anymore.Steve Clark